The Grand Finale

I want a new song, I said 

What kind, He asked 

One that I don’t have to sing all alone 

Where the range is limited by me

Where the sound is all mine 

Where the wave reaches its end 

And meets no one 

Where is the fun in that?

Wasn’t life meant to be a dance 

Of two 

A duet 

A jugalbandi 

I had always been told that was the final concert 

And yet I was never prepared for either 

Not a path of two, nor a life of one 

Was never taught to string in harmony

So I just sang alone

I’ve practiced and practiced

And perfected my performance 

I’ve learnt to be patient 

To hum in the back 

To not ask for the lead 

Or be too loud 

Can I now have the prestigious reward 

Of being tied to another 

Forever?

This is the renaissance 

The old melodies are played in halls 

Of haunted corridors and creaking floors 

Raise your voice 

And stand up tall 

Push yourself higher 

Till the sharp alto breaks snaps the cord of condition 

Push yourself harder

Till your own baritone resonates in your depths 

Embody them all

For at the end of the aria 

The song fades into the darkness 

And as you stand there 

Taking a bow 

And the lights go off

There is no other 

The SisterHood

I may not have the words to comfort you

As you bleed tears of pain 
I may not be there to hold you 
In a tight embrace and offer you strength 
I may not be able to help you 
Stand up when you’re feeling down 
And I may never be able to understand 
What you’re going through 
And how life tests you every day 
As you smile through your troubles 
And wade through the muck
On this journey we must all take alone 

But I’ll be here for you 
In a sacred circle 
Holding space 
Offering you with open arms 
A home to rest, to recuperate 
To share what you hold within 
Your joy, your sorrow, your gift 
To speak the words that may not be allowed 
To be spoken in the world out loud
I will listen, I will acknowledge 
I will laugh and I will cry
With you, my sister 
Till we heal from within, and without 
In this Sacred circle we are forever bound 

The Scar

I stare at the scar 

Patched up 

Sealed

Healed even maybe 

And I smile 

At the uprising that takes place within 

Sadness 

Grief 

Anger 

Even love at the same time 

The memory arises of the pain there was 

Of the pain that caused it 

Of the pain that it left behind 

And I smile 

Yet again 

Through that pain I met a part of me

That has the fortitude and resilience

Of a woman 

Who knows what it is to birth a child 

Through that pain I met the part of me

That has love and compassion 

As she holds herself and her sisters in a quiet embrace 

In it, I found the strength 

To gather pieces and stitch them together 

Piece by piece 

Of me

And from it, I rose

To stand tall and tell my story 

I stare at the scar with love

It’s beauty brings a tear to my eye 

I wish...

I wish I was a parking ticket

Easy to be validated

I wish I was a chubby puppy

So easy to love

I wish I was like the sun

Radiant with my own light 

I wish I was the moon

Content shining the light from another 

I wish I was a flower

Touching this world with Beauty

I wish I was a tiny bug

No one would ever see me

I wish I was the majestic mountain

Still, never missed for being gigantic 

I  wish I was tall like her

So I could walk with grace

And I wish I had her body

So I could dress with finesse 

I wish I was good at math

So I could plan my financial life

And I wish I was creative 

I expressed myself with ease

I wish I was smarter 

And stood as equal with the intellectuals 

I wish I was calmer

So I could navigate my relationships with ease

I wish I was someone else

Who didn’t have these words to pen

In all these wishes the only wish I really had

Was that I wish I wasn’t me

I wish I wasn’t ashamed 

Of the choices I made when I was younger

I wish I wasn’t embarrassed  

Of the pain that still scars my wrist

I wish I wasn’t scared

Of the voices that screamed even in my dreams

I wish I wasn’t guilty 

When I wasn’t even involved

I wish I had said no

When I didn’t want to say yes

I wish I had pushed back

When I wanted to build a wall

I wish I had forgiven

Instead of letting it rot

I wish I has spoken 

Instead of maintaining peace

I wish I was silent

When all I released was poison

I wish I had held back

When I raised my hand in despair

I wish I had opened my arms

When I really wanted to be held

I wish I had stood up

Instead of staying down

In all these wishes the only wish I really had

Was that I wish I has just been happy to be Me

Non-Sense

You don’t understand, for you cannot see

The world beyond the ordinary 

Of fairies, of pixies, of devas in trees

Of the deep jungles that hold the mysteries 

Of the crystal fountains that give breath and life 

You don’t understand, for you cannot hear 

The HAM of the universe 

Of shiv, of parvati 

Of the heart beating and pulsating 

As they dance to the rhythm of the songs beyond 

You don’t understand, for you cannot feel 

The winds speaking as they touch your body

The vibration of life making its way thru every fabric of creation 

Yet you breathe, ye know not what 

You don’t understand, for you cannot smell 

The sweet fragrance of her blessings 

His omnipotent Presence 

In each flower that beholds His unique imprint 

You don’t understand, and you never will 

Until you close your eyes and mind 

And open your heart to that what lies 

Beyond this world of struggle and strife 

There in the midst of the field of chaos

Magick awaits; some call it theos 

You wear your straight jacket, and ease it’s crease 

And ignore the wave of the sweet breeze 

You call me crazy, strange at best 

As I sit down and want to rest 

Lost in the world of imagination 

Of magick and of creation 

Of fairies and pixies and those little playful elves 

When Spirit Descends

When Spirit descends 

The hand starts to move 

Colours spray themselves on the canvas 

Shape forms 

Textures layer themselves upon each other 

And a painting comes to life 

Proportion and geometry meet each other in perfect angles 

And curves bend to the laws of nature 

A central force pushes its boundary 

And encapsulates itself into the Bindu 

A yantra is formed 

Words fall upon paper

Metaphors expand into awareness 

They rhyme sometimes 

But always have a rhythm 

A poem is written 

The melody follows the beat of the drum

The piano plays the tune

The ensemble picks up where the song finishes 

The music lives on to sing 

When spirit descends 

Millions of tiny little sparks light up the universe 

With beauty and expression 

Life emerges

Alive

 

You could be alive, yet dead inside

Your coffers could be filled with the rarest of them gems

And yet your heart, as empty as them pens

With no ink to write another story

 Your life could be surrounded by people of name

Your home filled with the whose who of fame

Yet your heart could not have one it could call

To share your happiness, your sadness, your rise, your fall

You could be alive, yet dead inside

You could wake up, and yet never rise

To embrace life, to live it for each moment

Open your eyes, your soul awaits

Not for you to watch the movies others make

To be moved by their tales of adventure

But to write your own, to traverse the unknown 

To walk up the mountain that seems too high

To follow your heart - sing your own song

Break bread with strangers, sit by a fire as you stay warm

This is the heat that keeps Spirit moving on…

You could be alive, yet dead inside

If you don’t wake up, and finally rise. 

Silence

My body needs to rest

My soul needs to heal

To step away from the humdrum

Into a quiet retreat

Get some quiet, they say

Some get their peace there

Some feel haunted 

Like the walls are closing in 

I want some quiet too

To be alone with myself 

The sounds of the woods

The silence of the trees

The silence of the ocean

My soul feels beckoned to lie in

I need the silence of the underwater

Not the silence of loneliness

Not all silence is golden

There is a taste to the quiet

Some silence brings joy

Some pain

 

Out comes the grief, sadness, and shame

Memories, dreams, everything insane

Then comes a moment of zero thought

From there I can, begin again