Pyre of Dreams

 Why can’t I let it go? Why are you at war with me about this? 

Because you need to hold on to your dream and because you deserve them in every way 

But they’re never going to happen - and there’s only pain

They will - the moment u stop believing that 

🔥 🔥 🔥

Burn away little one

Become into ash

Be buried deep into the heart of the earth 

So she can collect your wounds and let them return to nothing 

Burn away those dreams

The chains of regret that hold you back 

Set yourself free, to create new beginnings 

Burn away those sorrows

Of things not done, experiences not had, loves not fulfillled 

They occupy space within me -

I need more to create 

A life that’s meant for you 

For you to shine your beauty

For you to experience not the love of your dreams 

But the love of your life

Of a life lived with soul 

Of honesty and authenticity 

Of your voice, my voice 

Singing to the beats of the cosmos

For yours is no ordinary journey

And no ordinary dream 

Let the waters clear the debris 

To make way for my flow 

As your embark on a new journey 

Into the river of life

She

Its easy, isn’t it

to point a finger

to give blame

to appropriate shame

SHE must have done something to deserve it

and no, its not just rape or eve teasing

not the gravest deeds of them all

but the generation after generation of tradition

of the pain and blame game

that gets seeded and set forth into motion 

when the next wave reaches its shore

she forgets her desire to leave her in laws home

when she felt suffocated and crushed

by the force of the matriarch ruling the kitchen

and the law of the patriarchal code

she forgets her desire to have her own home

to decorate it as she would embellish herself

to adorn it to reflect her beauty

she forgets her shame when she was stared at

or forced to cover up, or whistled at, or followed in the early evening as she came back home from work

when she shames the girls that get eve teased on new years 

and proclaims the need to “lock them up and get them married quickly”

she forgets that she too was young, had dreams that were crushed,

had desires and ambition

when she forces the other women to give up their own 

only to become cows and mules to slave

waiting on with hands, legs, body and baited breath

for the appreciation of the men they serve

she forgets the first time when the her heart snapped and broke 

from the shock of the strike on her face

and mocks the rising from ek thappad

dismissing it as small occurrence in the big picture

she forgets she too was a woman

before she became a mother, a grandmother, a mother in law, a judge

she was the “aaj kal ki ladki” with red nail polish and a free spirit

before she became the keeper of the keys

that bind us with chains of dark history

only to be perpetuated until we come together

and save us all -  women - them, us, and those that are yet to come..

 

This, That

This goes with that

This is how it’s done 

This is where you put it 

This is how you sit little lady

This is how you sip

Cross your knees, at least your ankles 

Don’t wear your skirt up so high 

Comb that hair dear one 

Make sure your chores are done 

And clean up, look pretty 

Don’t try and be so witty

You’re looking like a gruffly boy 

Stop playing with your brothers toy

Say it softly, gently must you speak 

Mind that temper, it shows you’re weak 

Control your mouth, no filth must come out 

Agree, pleasantly and dare not shout

Aaaaarrrghhh! 

You make me want to scream

I’m as much a ragga muffin 

As a fairy queen 

Why can’t I wear pink with the yellow and blue,  

Why can’t I climb trees like the boys do?

Leave my hand, let me run freely 

The fields beckon, the trees whisper 

Come and sit with us a while

Stretch your legs and rest your back 

Let the grass tickle your skin 

Breathe in this cold dry wind

Mother, mother - Come with me 

This is where life is meant to be

We’ll bite into apples straight from the tree

And drink the spring waters and splash our faces clean 

Sing songs so loud, our voices are heard 

Travelling along with the sounds of the bird 

Stare into the deep blue skies 

Smell flowers, watch the butterflies 

Come mother come, come with me

It’s time for you to hold my hand

To help me grow into being me

And it’s time for you, to set yourself free

Rainy Days

Be practical, I was told 

A long life lies ahead that 

That needs money, security, a solid foundation 

No time to dance, no time to play

All of this won’t give you anything for the rainy day 

Sigh, oh sigh - these rainy days

When all I want to do is dance and play 

Splash the water with my feet 

And wet my chappals and splutter 

The muddy muck  from the urban river 

Onto your clean dry white canvas 

Does growing up mean I have to watch 

Little children from my window 

While I drink tea and eat the bhajiya 

And they live and jump, completely free

As the raindrops wet their little faces 

And light their hearts with such glee 

Oh what is this so called practicality 

When I was born to live completely free

Free from the bondages of what Ive been told 

Of the mirrors of the past and the dreams of a future

So secure that I can’t break past

The tight  ropes that tie me to this cast 

This mould of who I’m supposed to be

Oh when, when, can I just be me 

This rain, when it comes down in its glory 

Brightening up my sunniest days 

With pregnant clouds, thunder and deep, dark skies 

Giving life to every sentient being 

I leave my comfort - I come to dance with thee

Set me free, set me free