I wish...

I wish I was a parking ticket

Easy to be validated

I wish I was a chubby puppy

So easy to love

I wish I was like the sun

Radiant with my own light 

I wish I was the moon

Content shining the light from another 

I wish I was a flower

Touching this world with Beauty

I wish I was a tiny bug

No one would ever see me

I wish I was the majestic mountain

Still, never missed for being gigantic 

I  wish I was tall like her

So I could walk with grace

And I wish I had her body

So I could dress with finesse 

I wish I was good at math

So I could plan my financial life

And I wish I was creative 

I expressed myself with ease

I wish I was smarter 

And stood as equal with the intellectuals 

I wish I was calmer

So I could navigate my relationships with ease

I wish I was someone else

Who didn’t have these words to pen

In all these wishes the only wish I really had

Was that I wish I wasn’t me

I wish I wasn’t ashamed 

Of the choices I made when I was younger

I wish I wasn’t embarrassed  

Of the pain that still scars my wrist

I wish I wasn’t scared

Of the voices that screamed even in my dreams

I wish I wasn’t guilty 

When I wasn’t even involved

I wish I had said no

When I didn’t want to say yes

I wish I had pushed back

When I wanted to build a wall

I wish I had forgiven

Instead of letting it rot

I wish I has spoken 

Instead of maintaining peace

I wish I was silent

When all I released was poison

I wish I had held back

When I raised my hand in despair

I wish I had opened my arms

When I really wanted to be held

I wish I had stood up

Instead of staying down

In all these wishes the only wish I really had

Was that I wish I has just been happy to be Me