Non-Sense

You don’t understand, for you cannot see

The world beyond the ordinary 

Of fairies, of pixies, of devas in trees

Of the deep jungles that hold the mysteries 

Of the crystal fountains that give breath and life 

You don’t understand, for you cannot hear 

The HAM of the universe 

Of shiv, of parvati 

Of the heart beating and pulsating 

As they dance to the rhythm of the songs beyond 

You don’t understand, for you cannot feel 

The winds speaking as they touch your body

The vibration of life making its way thru every fabric of creation 

Yet you breathe, ye know not what 

You don’t understand, for you cannot smell 

The sweet fragrance of her blessings 

His omnipotent Presence 

In each flower that beholds His unique imprint 

You don’t understand, and you never will 

Until you close your eyes and mind 

And open your heart to that what lies 

Beyond this world of struggle and strife 

There in the midst of the field of chaos

Magick awaits; some call it theos 

You wear your straight jacket, and ease it’s crease 

And ignore the wave of the sweet breeze 

You call me crazy, strange at best 

As I sit down and want to rest 

Lost in the world of imagination 

Of magick and of creation 

Of fairies and pixies and those little playful elves 

Alive

 

You could be alive, yet dead inside

Your coffers could be filled with the rarest of them gems

And yet your heart, as empty as them pens

With no ink to write another story

 Your life could be surrounded by people of name

Your home filled with the whose who of fame

Yet your heart could not have one it could call

To share your happiness, your sadness, your rise, your fall

You could be alive, yet dead inside

You could wake up, and yet never rise

To embrace life, to live it for each moment

Open your eyes, your soul awaits

Not for you to watch the movies others make

To be moved by their tales of adventure

But to write your own, to traverse the unknown 

To walk up the mountain that seems too high

To follow your heart - sing your own song

Break bread with strangers, sit by a fire as you stay warm

This is the heat that keeps Spirit moving on…

You could be alive, yet dead inside

If you don’t wake up, and finally rise. 

In Silence

In silence I stand 

With my head bowed

To receive your blessings 

To note your orders 

And to offer myself in forgiveness 

In silence I walk 

Following your will

With my heart open 

To your grace 

With no questions of where to this path will lead 

In silence I think

Of you 

And of your love - omnipresent 

Your face giving life to every cell in my being 

And I feel you within me

In silence I breathe 

My breath - your breath 

As I merge into you

And become nothing, and everything

All at once 

In Silence I seek you,

and find you...

For real things are only given and received - 

In silence 

A Story

let me tell you a story
a story of what can be
a story of love and joy 
where pictures you can see 
of whatever you think, you feel
of people and of places
that the mind means to visit 
that the heart wants to see 

add in the many characters 
who play their various roles
and one master puppeteer
who oversees the whole
they sing, they dance, they laugh, they cry
they love and loose, and find themselves again
while He waits within your heart
for the next beat, for the next cut

you see, you're the hero
and the villain too
the producer and the director
the movie maker too
you choose your cast, and the lines
you choose to love, you choose to whine
you unfold your own story, you write it too
I'm only the mirror, to show you, it's all you! 

The Journey

When I left home yesterday 

I was incomplete 

Not because I had left something behind 

But I knew that something was just missing 

I just hadn't uncovered yet 

Parts of me that existed 

Didn't know who I really was 

Or how to even define 

What really went on inside of me 

What was going on in my mind 

Then I went down this journey 

Looking deep inside 

Down some steps, through some doors 

Till I reached a point 

Where was a storm dark and deep 

Raging turmoil and turbulence too

And as it rose to play the crescendo 

A stillness suddenly came through 

Into it I stepped with some apprehension

Letting go of my own hand

I plunged into the darkness - I felt myself fall 

Only to be saved by love and joy 

Held safe by Truth and bliss 

I let go of all I knew before 

Feeling my whole being expand 

Into the vastness of the universe 

And then came the Big Bang 

From the center of this boundless being 

As if a new day dawned 

Made out of hope, shaped by grace 

A new me was born 

Dancing to the tune of my own music 

My heart jumped a beat 

As I skipped down the road back home 

I knew I was whole, my journey complete!

The Hill of Shiva

The Ramana Maharishi ashram lies at the foot of the Arunachala hills, where Bhagwan, as he is fondly called by his followers, lived, meditated and left his legacy - a path to self realisation and an answer to the question “Who am I”. His path is that of self inquiry and discernment. I’ve still to read this books to figure out what exactly his teachings were. 

We got there after a 4 hour drive from Chennai - just at the point where the highway ends and you turn left to go into the smaller roads leading to the ashram, we stopped for the most mouth melting masala dosa ever! This is actually right where the amazing smooth highway ends and about 2 hours of turning, under construction and bumpiness starts. As soon as you enter the ashram there is a large tree situated right in the centre. This is where Bhagwan used to sit. People - sadhus, goras alike -  were hugging, touching, talking to the tree - we felt right at home!

The ashram accommodation is managed by Dr. Murthy - and embodiment of stillness, yet filled with wisdom and gentleness. Its almost impossible to get bookings during between a local festival that is sometime in early dec and Mahashivratri (Feb). Please book in advance and have the email available to show your confirmation. They do check. The accommodation is excellent. The rooms are clean, cosy with attached bathrooms. We checked in, and headed straight to the ashram to start our 14 or 16 or 17 km walk (each person we met gave us a new longer number!) This is called the Giri Pradakshina. Details of what this means are available on the ashram website, but a short local version is the washing away of past 14 years of karma and the clearing of the next 14. 

What an incredible walk! You sense the denseness of the energy, the pulsating of it going through you and sometimes the heady heaviness causes you to walk in silence, unable to even think. In certain areas, you feel Shiva’s presence so strongly - its the same energy that i’ve felt in hearings and attunements just magnified and intensified until its numbing. I was actually giving my lower body reiki thorough a large part of this walk. In intervals, I noticed that only karuna symbols were flowing and even if i tried, no usui symbols would come out - in a moment a shakti temple would appear on the path. This happened more that once. Apparently you are supposed to visit the smaller temples - there are 9 or 14 special annamalai temples amidst the many many small temples and shrines placed at every 100 metres. Thats for next time. There’s fruit, coconut water and fruit and small shops with food available along the way. The only problem is that in spite of there being toilets every couple of kms, not a single one was open or available to use. I’m not sure why this is, its not very friendly. 

The walk ends at the main Arunachaleshar temple situated in the midst of the city area. We got there at 8.45 just in time for the closing aarti at both the shiv and the parvati temples. Again intense, powerful energies, but unfortunately the priests tried to scam us for money and kept asking us for Dakshina and special pujas. I could feel all my chakras buzzing in the inner shrine where the shivling is - however in the parvati temple, i knew that the energy burst through my back heart. 

A large part of the next day was just spent at the Ramana Ashram. We walked around, ate the most amazing food for lunch there - i don’t know what they put in their food, but the sambhar and rice is actually divine.  As you move further and further into the ashrams - from the outer room (where Bhagwan’s mothers samadhi is), to the main meditation hall and then further into the room where Bhagwan meditated - you feel like you’re taken over by a numbing, yet calming force. You’re fully here but still not fully here. I remember there were railings into the inner temple and i couldn’t really see them - they were hazy, i actually had to touch them to figure where they were. We spent almost a couple of hours in the meditation rooms… we watched the young pujaris, including little boys who were about 6-7 years old, recite mantras while they washed and worshipped the linga in the meditation hall in resounding unison. 

The Travellers

The next morning we were supposed to go up to the Virupaksha cave - the cave where Bhagwan meditated; it’s supposed to vibrate with the frequency of Om. It was a very testing morning since my lower back gave way, and my legs were shaking when i woke up. Lots of thoughts encouraging me to give up, but there was no way that i was going to not make it up there. Somewhere along the way, i was even told to stop giving myself reiki and that i would be taken care of and to just look around at everything that was beautiful, take pictures like i normally do and enjoy the journey. To focus on the path and the process and not the hardship and inner reservations. So i did. :) the thought of it brings tears to my eyes because i know it was more than just a walk to a cave. it was a metaphor for the journey of life. Our weaknesses are brought out and magnified so that we can see them and over come them, and not to be defeated by them, always keeping the goal in mind. And to enjoy the journey and the process inspire and despite everything…

We had a guide, a friend, a lover of Bhagwan and a young man who plans to spend his life around the ashram. Vicky (for short) has been connected with the ashram since he was a teenager. He comes to the ashram daily, and even during his college days would take every possible trip down here weekly to be in this energy. During Shivratri, he goes up to the mountain top with other sadhus and they meditate for three days surrounded by all the wild animals that come to soak in and watch the magic. 

The View of the Temple from the walk up the hill

A closer view

The cave is incredible. Vibrating with energy. i was unable to keep my eyes open, or stop the tears from rolling down. i honestly don’t have any memory of what happened in there  - but what i do remember is that it was intense, and i was guided to literally do a char-dham meditation in all four corners of the ling in the cave. On the way down, i stopped for a moment to take a breather - and closed my eyes and stood, a woman came unto me, took my hand, kissed it, smiled and walked away. 

The Path

The Destination

The intensity of the Ramana experience actually begins to show its effect after coming back home. For the next week or so, i was raging mad. Annoyed, irritable and almost violent with rage. And i have no idea why. Thats the cleanse - a deep inner churning. Its been about two months now and the rage has settled a long time ago, but I’m ready to go back. I feel the calling of the cave already.