Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Goodbye

I don't want to deal with my past
It forever seems to last
Unforgiving and torturous
Bringing out memories I want to run from
People I want to hide from
So they don't see me and I don't have to deal
With the realities of who I was
But this is who I've come to be
Stronger, smarter, and understanding of me
Still there lies this underlying fear
That I don't really want to see
The who I was before I became me

There's a deep sense of discomfort
And a fear if the cycle were to repeat
The shame, guilt, hurt and anger
Would once again take the drivers seat
What if the car drove off the smooth highway
Back into the by lanes of despair
Coming face to face with the shadows of darkness
With memories of yesterday
Mirrors to show you your weaknesses
Forever waiting to bring you down
Cause they don't know you along this journey
They haven't seen you move along

They believe that you're still the same
For that's all the naked eye can see
The same body, hair, voice and sound
The same reflection of what they knew to be
It takes one moment of their chatter
To shatter your newly built up walls
That keep away the patterns of pain
That keep out the Criticism,  the judgement, the gossip and all
What's the point of revisiting 'old times'?
What's the point of 'for memories sake'?
When people don't grow with you forward
When they hold you back instead of let you leap

Its time to say good bye for now
Until we meet at a new curve
Where there is no expectation or assumption
Where relationships start from scratch over
And maybe we won't cross paths again
That too would serve us right
For our times together have come to an end
Maybe that's all our pact was for
I wish you farewell, I wish you luck
And I let go today, oh dear old friend.



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