Mirror Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who is the fairest of them all?

A little girl eager to please
Making good grades with ease

A sullen teenager working hard
Eating aways at loads of lard

A young heart with a sweet crush
For the first time who feels the love rush

An angry young woman who sees her dad
Abuse his health, her mother and make her sad

A girl who loves her little furry pet
Who hears her out and understands things that no one else can get

A teenager on the brink of losing her mind
Leaves the country for peace and love to find

A woman who sits and retrospects
Staring at life from a ship forever anchored and decked

Mirror mirror on the wall,
Who am I, from these all?

And the wise mirror with great compassion replies
Just like life, to it's disciples' wails and cries

You are but a mix of the shadows you cast
Each one a teacher, not forever to last

Turn Into love and look out for light
As each shadow merges into you, making you bright

You are a being of this unmasked glory
Write a new song, start a new story!

If only

If only I could love me
Then maybe you would too

If only I could didnt care that my hair is frizzy
You'd stop criticising me for ignoring it and being too busy

If only I didn't feel bad that my bags were not Chanel or Gucci
You'd stop telling me that I always look old and frumpy

If only I loved me, thin, fat, short and tall
You'd stop staring at every other girl in the hall

If only I paid attention to my own thoughts and emotions
You wouldn't change the topic when I spoke from my heart

If only I ignored the what, and completely loved the who
Then maybe you'd love me, just for me, too

Into the (Spot)Light

Sharing my talents make me shy
For before I show off
I wonder why
Someone would look beyond what the eyes can see
Deep inside - inside of me.

With layers of emotions stored under my skin
Each of those pains, so hard to pin
When I prayed for help, god sent you all
In every shape and size, to hold me when I fall
To help pick up the pieces, help me move forward.

Not a day goes by when I don't thank Him
Let the show begin, let the lights dim!

Addicted To No Love

Pain pain everywhere
Not a thought to think
Then comes along anger
Keeping my temper on the brink
Frustration makes me disconnect
From all the other feelings
Trapped with the only two I know
A couple of simple dealings
Lash out when you refuse to feel
What really lies under
And stay numbed when things go all wrong
It's easier just not to wonder

Cover it all up with cake and cream
Feel the sugar high
Push it all down with a bag of chips
While watching tv shows go by
As the night passes into the day
Lie there numbed and stoned
Who knew salt and sugar would do the trick
It isn't sex, drugs or alcohol
Can't really be called an addiction
It's only food, after all

Till you move off the bed and couch
Till you decide to no longer slouch
The pain won't leave, the anger will stay
But a greater power will keep them at bay
It's the power to feel what you really feel
It's the power to stay calm while you still reel
It's the power to own what can't be bought
It's the power to love you,  no matter what

To those, who in the past, predicted the future

An ode to the all the helpers
That met me along my journey
Read my horoscopes, analysed my charts
Ended all hope, before it could start.

Told me that I would eventually survive
But never be able to really thrive
Never find love or happiness in life
Be someone's mother or someone's wife.

Took all my greatest fears, turned them into ammunition
Set my dreams and desires up for a final cremation
Broken pieces of my heart they danced upon
I didn't even know this was life's greatest con

From runes to tarot to the crystal ball,
In search of that store in the back of the mall
Where hope was sold and the future could be bought
In a mangled mess of soothsayers I was caught.

Till the day He showed Himself, And it took one instant
To know He was watching and vigilant, caring and constant
Didn't need no prophecy of man  to show me my direction
I was always surrounded by divine love and protection

Now wiser and stronger, I know you played your part
Creating darkness and despair that you were able to jump start
As soon as He came, my fears took flight
Thank you for driving me toward the Light.

Choices: Black, White & Grey. Is there really a Grey choice?

Many years ago, in DDLJ, Raj Malhotra tells a hassled Simran that his mother used to say, "Beta, zindagi ke har mod pe tumhe do raste milenge ek galat aur ek sahi. Galat rasta asaan hoga, tumhe apni taraf kheenchega. Aur jo sahi rasta hoga, ho sakta hai usmein tumhe kadi mushkilon ka samna karna pade, bahut taklif mile; par yaad rakhna akhir mein jeet tumhari hi hogi."

So true. Life throws us daily curveballs. Which way we choose to dodge them, catch them or throw them back is a choice we make. Life is full of choices and not making a choice is also a choice. 

I've spent a lot of time discussing other peoples lives and circumstances and while each situation, person, journey is unique the choices are often the same - between right and wrong, between good or bad, between black or white. Add some justifications, circumstantial situations, ifs and buts to the mix and suddenly there's a rainbow of greys. But are these really greys or are they just blacks disguised by our own misgivings which we refuse to see with our own eyes? 

Often burdened with fear or anger, driven by guilt or revenge, we choose to choose that which isn't best for ourselves but what we believe someone else deserves. And then we justify it - so having an affair because your husband does'nt love you is ok; hating and abusing your boss because she is mean to you is justifiable; eating a kilo of chips fills up a vacuum because you are depressed is acceptable; even staying married to a man who is with someone else for ensuring his torture is deemed as reasonable! 

Your inner compass can tell you whether what you're doing is good or bad. Your body will send you messages to let you know whether something your doing feels good or bad. Your conscience knows the difference between right and wrong. With the greys, the case is almost similar - you just know. And life somehow sends you the same situation, in many different forms, until you lift the veil off your eyes and pick what's true for you.

The lesson is simple. There ain't any greys. There's a black and a white. And then there's your choice. No one said it was going to be easy. You just know it'll always be worth it. 

Lost and found

Can you be found if you weren't lost in the first place? Can you find light if you weren't lost in the dark? 

Will you seek answers if you didn't have unanswered questions? Would you continue to have questions if life didn't push you toward asking them?

Would you feel compelled to ask if life didn't throw situations at you that everything you already knew couldn't answer? Would you strive to understand life if what everything you thought you understood didn't make sense anymore? 

Would you seek sense if you weren't plagued by situations you didn't understand? Would you want to understand if you weren't plauged by situations that you didn't? 

Answers to all of these questions answer one simple basic fact of life. That we seek answers to lifes greater questions only when we have to face it's adversity. And that life's greatest lesson is taught only through it's greater hardships. 

If you're lost and looking, be assured that your answers will follow. And that you will be found. After the darkest night of the soul, comes the most beautiful sunrise. 

That's life.