Forgiveness 101

But I don't want to forgive or forget. I don't want to let go of the way I feel because he hurt me so much. My mother in law made my life miserable; she doesn't deserve my forgiveness. 

I hear this  a lot. And here's the only thing that matters - when you hold on to anger, hate, or resentment, the only person who actually knows and feels and lives this is you, the person who holds onto it. The person who caused you the pain is free, living out his or her own karma and going about his or her own business, possibly oblivious to the fact that you have these feelings within you. 

There's a lot said about being the bigger person and being the first to let go. I'm going to look at this from the point of view of 'I" - the most important person in this scenario, possibly a victim, but that soon becomes irrelevant and what remains is simply an unhappy 'I' - so we're simply going to back to 'I' and 'I' will take the time out to look inside of me and figure out a way to be free from any and all negative emotions.  

Here's a simple step by step methodology. Each step can take time but it's so worth it.

1. Acknowledge that you have the issues that your holding onto. Would help to actually believe that there is an issue inside before you go looking for it

  

2. Try and identify the person (s) and the  exact feeling that you have - and therefore narrow down the cause

3. Don't try and focus on the why me aspect, it's futile! Instead focus on the why me, what was I to learn from it? The moment you acknowledge your life lesson, you'll no longer feel the pain or the anger because you'll soon realise that this person (s) and situations (s) were brought into your life for this purpose

4. Forgive - truly, completely and hope and bless the person (s) involved with an abundance of prosperity and happiness and peace. Take a moment and bless yourself as well.

5. Stay happy and at peace with the outcome - you can continue to be friends or you can part ways. Sometimes people are meant to leave your life and that's ok too.  

Lastly, forgive yourself. While it sounds the simplest, it's probably the hardest to do. We will talk about this another time again! 

Forgiveness brings more peace that you can possibly imagine and creates space for happiness without any adulteration of thoughts and feelings. Imagine travelling through life without a suitcase, being able to go where you want, do what you want with nothing to slow and weigh you down. That would be one hell of a holiday!